Sometimes we don't have to understand, we just have to believe

I like to understand things. If I don't "get" something, I like to learn about it. That is just my nature. I am curious! But sometimes that desire for understanding everything can come from a need to control situations. (Boy, that subject could fill a few blogs, eh?) But God reminded me of a couple of things last night and this morning that I'd like to share.

• PRAY FOR THE U.S.A. - We need to be praying for the USA especially during this time. It seems like the shadow of Socialism is taking over our nation. I sometimes get so overwhelmed at the thought, because, like you (hopefully), I love this country of freedom under God. But as Jaime so kindly reminded me, we cannot always see the big picture (or airplane view, as Mama Jill says!); so we have to trust in Him that He has a plan for each of us - and our nation.

• DON'T WORRY! - We don't need to waste time worrying, or giving any credence to the media, which now only exists to make money by means of fear-mongering. (Right?) So instead, let's turn to the Lord and His Word, which is always timely, no matter what generation reads it. Let's hold on tightly to His promises, and trust that He will work this whole situation out - even with the corrupt and evil people who are being appointed into positions of power. Just as God used Moses and Pharoh, he still can sway the hearts of kings and leaders.

• IT WILL ALL WORK OUT - He promises that He will work everything out for our good, because we belong to Him! See? -->
  

28 "And we know that in all things

God works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose."

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers,

39neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God

that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8 (NIV)

• SEEK GOD, NOT PUNDITS - We really need to call out to God, and seek Him. God was never about the business of politics. He is love, and love personified. He wants our hearts to turn and cry out to Him! We need to humble ourselves before Him, and remember that He is the God of creation, the God of the universe. He knows and created every good thing, including the deep mysteries of science and every dimension still undiscovered by man. It is that same God who desires a relationship with you and me.

11 "For I know the plans I have for you,"

declares the LORD,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,

and I will listen to you.

13 You will seek me and find me

when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29 (NIV)

6 "Therefore humble yourselves

[demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation]

under the mighty hand of God,

that in due time He may exalt you,
7Casting the whole of your care

[all your anxieties, all your worries,

all your concerns, once and for all]

on Him, for He cares for you affectionately

and cares about you watchfully.
8Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind),

be vigilant and cautious at all times;

for that enemy of yours, the devil,

roams around like a lion

roaring [in fierce hunger],

seeking someone to seize upon and devour.
9Withstand him; be firm in faith

[against his onset--rooted, established, strong,

immovable, and determined],

knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are

appointed to your brotherhood

(the whole body of Christians) throughout the world.
10And after you have suffered a little while,

the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor],

Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory

in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete

and make you what you ought to be,

establish and ground you securely,

and strengthen, and settle you.
11To Him be the dominion (power, authority, rule)

forever and ever. Amen (so be it)."

I Peter 5 (Amplified)

**********

So God, I want to cast every little care I have on You.

I know that You are big enough to carry my burdens

and the burdens of the world,

because you already did.

I pray right now that the the peoples' hearts will turn to You;

not to religion, or some mechanical ritual, but to You,

the beautiful, dangerous, loving,

never-changing Lord of heaven and earth.

I don't understand all that You're doing right now,

but I thank You that You care for me,

and have made a way for me

to have a direct relationship with You through Jesus, your Son.

I pray that You will draw near to us,

as we draw near to You.

I thank You that others will come into agreement with me in this prayer,

and that You listen to the prayer of our hearts,

and let us hear your heart too.

May we stand up for justice, liberty,

life and righteousness - all that You are.

I don't understand what's happening

behind the scenes of these trying times,

but I believe that you have the lives of your children

and the nations in the palm of Your scarred hand.

I believe that You are stirring the hearts of Your people.

If you can use anyone, here I am.

Amen.

Goodbye is not the end...

My family recently lost a dear friend and brother.

Rock "Rocky" Thomas Green
September 20, 1974—February 25, 2009

Man, Rocky, just when I can actually remember your (non-national-holiday) birthday, you go and celebrate a new kind of birth! Ain't that the way... I will miss your presence, Rock, and your unwavering faith in Jesus. God speed the moment when we'll all be reunited in the presence of our savior.

Among other things, Rocky demonstrated a candid faith, and a passion for living that is contagious. He wasn't afraid of anything; not the strong currents of the Pacific, not the desert-like seasons of life, not even death. And he walked through each of those, with a lion's heart, into victory. I hope that my faith can reflect his. I hope to live in such a way that continues his legacy of faith, passion and fearlessness.

Here are some great thoughts from Rocky himself. These two excerpts are most recently from Rocky's Lubbock, TX memorial service program.

(Thanks, Heidi, for sending one to us.)

DAYS YOU THOUGHT WOULD NEVER END
This album is a collection of songs representing a period of my life that has recently passed. It was a time that started with difficult changes, and, I immediately found myself challenged at my core. For years I struggled with goals and dreams and my place in life (geographically and, of course, figuratively). I lived in a setting that was disconnected from my past, and I often felt that everything I stood for was future tense. Even the people around me seemed to confirm that my value as a person was largely found in my potential. Reality as I knew it was the daily struggle against the temptation to define myself by my surroundings. And at the same time, I felt the need to be productive and even content with the days God has given me. As I look back, I see that He was teaching me who I really am, what hope really is, and how to hang onto it. The reward for holding onto Jesus as He plowed through all that unpleasant wilderness is just starting to be made known as I watch the sun set on that era. As I ponder all this, I realize the metaphorical significance of this period in my life. It is, in fact, just a small sample of the rest of my days, and there are many more challenges to come. Undoubtedly, my whole life could be titled, “Days You Thought Would Never End.” And ultimately, I will be sitting on the other side of those days, finally understanding the reward for holding onto Jesus through the midst of this mirage that we call the real world.

— Rocky Green

__________________________________________

All of these words really spoke to me, because Jaime & I have been going through a similar season of searching for place in the world, despite - and beyond - circumstances.

Rocky lived what he wrote and said. I remember the last time we got to hang out (June 2007). Rocky, Jaime and I walked along the beach near his Encinitas, CA, home, and he didn't know our entire situation, but he really listened and absorbed it as we all went along barefoot. Jaime & I explained that we wanted to go on an adventure, and find a "musically inclined" town to settle down in. Rocky pointed out that no matter where you go, it's really the people that make all the difference.

And Rock and his family did make all the difference in my and my family's life. We used to share every day together, barefoot kids running around in bathing suits, taking the secret little path to the beach, and coming back and hosing off in time for burritos and fellowship and music and laughter. But I always looked up to Rocky, and still do.

Another thing Rocky taught me by his example is to be real. He was always himself, his whole life. He never tried to pretend to be someone he was not. He struggled with his life's meaning, but never lost sight of the anchor of his existence. He was steadfast, and I know that somehow I, who have forgotten myself many times, can draw hope and meaning from the same source that Rocky found. I have been reminded who I am by his knowing who he is.

Even now, God has been ministering truth into my life through Rocky. So thanks, God. And thanks, Rock, for living like a lion, with all your heart and unto the Lord - surfing, playing music, being a fierce friend. Your life reminds me how much one person matters to God, and how much God can use that one person if they give Him the chance.

________________________________

Vapor
By Rocky Green

I decorate my time
Thoughts and dreams
Dissertation and rhyme
Minutes are flyin’ and I’m racin’
With my mind

As the day makes history
It is a chance for you and me
To respond to the miracle we see

Time is quick and the moment is fluid
There’s little you can do
When you get right down to it
Life is a vapor, and I’m breathing through it
With all of my might

Better to live as a lion for a day
Than throw your whole life to the dogs
Once all the years and the minutes fade away
They’re all irretrievably gone

Rocky's ashes were carried out to sea at his home surf spot in Cali.

(That's his wife, Jena, in the middle, and brother, Caleb Jude, second from the right.)

Surfers of all ages paddled out in Rocky's honor.

They gathered in a circle to pour Rocky's remains back into the ocean he loved to surf, and afterward gave a loud victory roar.

Go in peace, my friend.

Goodby is not the end.

God Save America

God save America, land that I love 

Stand beside her, and guide her 

Through the night, with the light from above 

From the mountains, to the prairies 

To the oceans, white with foam

God  save America, my earthly home 

God bless America, my home sweet home 

*

O beautiful for spacious skies, 

For amber waves of grain

For purple mountain majesties, 

Above the fruited plain

America, America, 

God shed His grace on thee, 

And crown thy good with brotherhood 

From sea to shining sea! 

O beautiful the pilgrim feet 

Whose stern impassion'd stress

A thoroughfare for freedom beat 

Across the wilderness 

America, America, 

God mend thine ev'ry flaw, 

Confirm thy soul in self-control,

Thy liberty in law

O beautiful for heroes prov'd

In liberating strife, 

Who more than self their country loved, 

And mercy more than life

America, America, 

May God thy gold refine 

Till all success be nobleness,

And ev'ry gain divine

O beautiful for patriot dream 

That sees beyond the years 

Thine alabaster cities gleam 

Undimmed by human tears 

America, America, 

God shed his grace on thee, 

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea

*

My country, 'tis of thee

Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing; 

Land where my fathers died, 

Land of the pilgrims' pride, 

From every mountainside let freedom ring! 

My native country, thee, 

Land of the noble free, thy name I love; 

I love thy rocks and rills

Thy woods and templed hills; 

My heart with rapture thrills, like that above

Let music swell the breeze, 

And ring from all the trees, sweet freedom's song; 

Let mortal tongues awake; 

Let all that breathe partake; 

Let rocks their silence break, the sound prolong 

Our fathers' God, to thee, 

Author of liberty, to thee we sing; 

Long may our land be bright

With freedom's holy light; 

Protect us by thy might, great God, our King 

*

 Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light 

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? 

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight 

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? 

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, 

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. 

Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen, through the mists of the deep, 

Where the foe's haughty host, in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam, of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream: 

'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave 

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band, who so vauntingly swore 

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion, 

A home and a country should leave us no more! 

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution. 

No refuge could save the hireling and slave 

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave: 

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 

O'er the land of the free and the home of the  brave! 

Oh thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war's desolation! 

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation. 

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, 

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust." 

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave 

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave! 

Fall in Kodiak...

As I drove to work this morning around 9:00 AM, the sun was shining its golden light on the browning mountains. (You know, the kind of light that you usually see around 7:00 AM in Florida?) Fall is definitely here, and the sun is going down earlier (8pm) and rising later. It's so weird - like the sun is sleeping in!

There's a definite chill in the air... the temperature has been ranging from 40-50º F... brrr! (That will be a lot colder next week when I resume riding my bike to work, which I'll probably do until the roads start to get icy; then it's back to walking!) So far the cold weather doesn't phase me. We'll see if I change my tune after about 8 or 9 months of cold... Hah!

Every morning I've been opening all the windows to let the shelter air out. (It gets bleached down in the early morning hours, so it's nice to let the bleach-y vapors clear) This morning I could see my breath as I sat at my desk! It was pretty funny. I closed my window shortly after that.

For those of you who don't know, I am working at the Brother Francis Shelter. It's a homeless shelter, but I am working in the area of homeless prevention. I interview people who are at risk for becoming homeless because of financial crisis, and submit an application for financial assistance to the director. I also compile shelter information for grant reports, and handle most administrative tasks for the shelter. Wee! And that is what I do in a nutshell.

I hope this Fall finds you and your family happy and healthy!
Love,
Noelle+Jaime

Bears! Oh my!

Tonight, after a nice pizza dinner, Gary, my mom, Jaime, Bitsy and I all piled into the Element to go "bear watching." Now, we've been bear watching quite a few times this Summer, and in June Jaime spotted a bear up on the side of a mountain, quite far away. But tonight...

Gary had heard there were bear sightings the past two nights out by the Russian River, so that's the way we headed. (Apparently a few other people heard about it too, because almost everywhere we went there were about 5 cars, all there for the same reason!) We drove just outside of town, and stopped when we saw the caravan of cars parked and people standing at a distance from a riverbank. For there, about 40 yards off, was a young "tween" bear, jumping after salmon with the vibrance and clumsiness of inexperience! It was great. He didn't even notice the 15 people staring at him - and the little boy throwing rocks toward the water - while he caught a fish and took a bite, then jumped back in the shallow water to grab another course for his supper. (See pic, below)

That was so exciting to watch. Jaime and I also went further down the river (far away from the bear) to watch the salmon run. Another first for me! Groups of grey-colored salmon just seemed to hover, swimming in place like they were waiting for a light to turn green! (Or maybe they knew there was a bear up ahead, and were waiting for his belly to get full) A light rain was falling as we saw one particularly determined salmon jump and fight up a small creek and into the main part of the river!

Satisfied but seeking further adventure anyway, we all carried on, traveling further down the road. We drove around a slightly more rural neighborhood, about which Jaime noted, "if you buy a house here, you get the bears for free!" But we didn't see any Kodiak Brown Bears there. So we started to head back to town. And then I saw them... out of the corner of my eye, something was splashing and jumping around in a little part of the river that no passers by had noticed - more bears! I was excited and didn't want to freak out the driver (Gary) by sounding panicked, but I managed to say "Baggins... Shire..." (Just kidding! That's not what I said.) I really said "Turn around! I think I saw two bears playing in the river back there!" So Gary wheeled the car around and we slowly started back towards the spot where I had seen them.

There they were! Two - no, three - fairly large bears, having a ball getting their long-awaited (and very late) salmon feast! One young & foolish (i.e., more dangerous) bear was only about 20 feet away from us, but was down an incline off the road. My mom crept out of the car with her camera, and I followed suit. I felt like a National Geographic photographer, getting close to the action. And then, very aware of us, it stood up to smell our scent on the air (bears eyes aren't that great, so they stand up to get a better whiff), and I couldn't help but wonder if it could cover those 20 feet faster than my mom & I could cover the 5 feet back to the car!

Thankfully, the bear was more distracted by all the fish swimming around it than by two funny smelling humans! My camera settings were all wrong, but I had to take pictures as quickly as I could in this possibly once-in-a-lifetime photo op! And of course, once another car saw us parked at this "unknown" spot, they whipped out their cameras and got out of their car, followed by another car. But the bears were getting nervous at this point, so they all ran off. But we were the first ones there! It was so awesome to see these powerful and beautiful creatures in their natural habitat!

(Actually, it looks in the picture like there were 4 bears - see the dark blobs in the background?- but I only noticed 3 at the time. Hmm...)

And that's what we did for fun on this rainy Friday night in Kodiak. :)

Island Living 1: Lost in the St. John Brush!

The challenges of "island living" are more evident after spending much more than just a 2-week vacation on the islands of St. John and Kodiak. Though different, the lifestyles of these two islands taught me a thing or two about life and living itself.

Jaime and I had a great time with Emily and Nate (Jaime's sister & bro-in-law) in St. John! The first 2 weeks especially were our "vacation" time! We all stayed at the "Jungalow" (Bungalow in the Jungle) together. (Em and Nate even let us sleep in their bed!)

The jungalow is a building the landlord lived in while her house was being built. Many people still live in their "cottage," and put their house building on hold because of the high costs involved. (Think 2-3x what it takes to build a house in Florida!) The jungalow, in this case, is rented out by the homeowner to make additional income, which surely helps when a head of broccoli is about $7, and a quart of Ben & Jerry's is $8! So we stayed in the plywood/screen structure with a tin roof. Though it was somewhat open to the elements, the jungalow had a sense of comfort about it.

It was nestled deep in the valley of Fish Bay, and there always seemed to be a cool breeze blowing. We went to sleep much earlier, since it got dark pretty early and there weren't as many distractions to take up our time. Some rainy nights the air got pretty cold, but we just pulled the cotton blankets over our heads! It felt like we were the lost boys in Neverland! I miss the sounds of trees dancing in the wind, and hermit crabs crawling to find dinner on the forest floor.

Jaime could not wait to grow veggies and herbs, and he planted garlic, basil, onions, lettuce, and peas! I busied myself one afternoon by building a little "fairy house teepee" out of things I found on the ground. It looked pretty neat when it was done!

One Sunday after church, we stopped by the grocery store and started to drive up "Jacob's Ladder," which is a very steep hill that requires hitting the gas and sometimes a wing and a prayer to get up. Well, we started to go, but never made it up the hill that day! The little car died trying to get up the hill, but luckily the mechanic shop was right next to the hill! Out we went, and ended up calling a taxi to come take us - and our groceries - home. It was at that point when we had to get really creative with transportation! Emily drove a work truck, and sometimes if it was on her way she would drop us off at work around 6a.m. (3 1/2 hours early. It was worth it, getting up that early, just to know we had a ride!) When we got jobs at "Big Planet," the surf shop in town, we would get there super early and just sleep on a picnic table bench at the park across the street! Once a park ranger stopped by and asked us a few questions, to make sure we hadn't spent the night there. It was humbling, too, hitch-hiking to work quite a few times. (It's actually very common and safe for people to "hitch" in St. John. Most people have "been there"!) I've never felt quite as grateful as I did when I saw someone's brake lights come on for us! We rode in the back of cars, jeeps, trucks... it was an interesting experience!

The first time I hitched, I was by myself, and walked quite a long way towards town before someone stopped. This fancy SUV pulled over, and half of me wasn't sure if it was for me, while the other half didn't want it to be! The driver finally rolled his window down and said, "Hey there, were you begging a ride?" I reluctantly said "rrrr, um, yes..." and got in. Boy that A/C felt great, let me tell you! He was very nice, and we had just enough conversation to keep it from being too awkward. The other time I had to hitch by myself, a work truck picked me up and this guy was in the back. I knew I would be okay, but he kept staring at my chest! This was incredibly annoying, but I pretended not to notice. In broken English, he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him yes, definitely! After a few minutes of riding along, I was "finally" able to tap the side of the truck so the driver could let me jump out! Oh yeah. That was also the day I had gotten lost in the brush...

Here's the story: I was by myself one Friday, and didn't feel like hitch-hiking. I knew that Nate had walked home from work many times through "the gut" of Fish Bay, and that the school was very close to his work. So, in what is now not thought of as my greatest moment of genius, I decided to try to find the gut myself, and walk through it to the school. I strapped on my backpack, which held my lunch, my waters, my notebook and my pride, and started walking in the direction of the gut. Or what I thought was the direction of the gut. I learned a lot about the topography of St. John that day, for instance, did you know that brush gets thicker and tougher as you get higher? Well, I didn't, so I walked up a pretty steep hill ("Nothing compared to walking out of Fish Bay to hitch-hike," I thought.) and made my way through the trees and large rocks. But as I went along, the "brush" which seemed so friendly at first became a little thorny. I knew that there was "catch-and-keep" (a thorny vine which catches onto skin or cloth and "keeps it" when you walk away), but had no idea of what awaited me if I kept going. And the further I went, the less I wanted to go back, because that would mean retracing the difficult steps I had just taken. Stubbornness made me go on. I felt a sharp sting in my arm, and saw "the culprit" go by. My backpack had brushed against a beehive, and when I looked back I thanked God I hadn't really bothered it. There was a whole hive of bees just beside where I had walked!

So the unfriendly brush became thicker, and thorns and varieties of cactus started to appear. I had jeans on, thank goodness, but only a t-shirt on top, so my arms were getting a bit scratched up. I kept hearing cars go by, so I was sure that when I got "over the hill" I would find at least the road out of fish bay. (But here is another lesson: even on a small island, mountains are very deceiving. What looks like "grass" from far away, can actually be the thickest brush! And, what sounds like it's coming from one direction may very well be coming from somewhere else entirely.) Well, grass I knew there wasn't, but after going up the hill I knew that I had to get over it. And to my dismay, there was no road when I reached the top. Only more thorns, aloe-like cactus, cactus vines, and more cactus. I was pretty nervous at this point, and knew that I wouldn't be making it to my study hall. I just wanted to find a road. It turned out that the safest way for me to go was over the aloe-like cactus brush.

When I got through that, the mountain curved down steeply, and I had to actually slide under the brush to go anywhere. I held onto tree branches as I slid downwards, hoping that I didn't fall. You might imagine that I was discouraged by this time. I was broken. I knew it was my stubbornness that got me into this situation, and only God could get me out! There weren't any houses in sight and I didn't know where I was. I did NOT want to be there when it got dark that evening! With hours of daylight left but nowhere to go, I just started to call out. "Help," quietly at first, but the vulnerability of that humble word hit me, and I started to cry. "HELP! Please! I don't know where I am! Help!" I said between sobs. "God, please help me. HELP!" It was after a few long minutes of calling out that I actually heard someone reply. It was a man's voice, and he said "Stay there! We'll help you down." Oh sweet relief! And humility. I tried to pull myself together, and started scooting down toward the voice. I was so happy to see a friendly face! In fable-like manner, my savior held out his hand to help me climb down the rest of the way. "Where did you come from?" he asked. "Fish Bay," I answered. "Where are we?" "Fish Bay." (Yes, all that effort and I hadn't even left Fish Bay!) As it turns out, Will (hero of the day) and his friend had also been trying to find the gut, but they got turned around too, and found me on their way back to where they started. Even more amazing was the fact that Will was the boyfriend of Angela, my manager at the surf store! He kindly gave me a ride up to the school where I profusely apologized and explained my absence. And, sweaty, scratched up, and a lot less stubborn, I started walking toward town to work the closing shift at the surf shop.

And that is how I learned never to go hiking in a strange place without a guide, and also that if I do, I should bring a map, compass, satellite phone and very large machete.

Teddy L Patisserie (or, how chocolate croissants changed my life)

You know, I just get kind of T.O.'d when nobody has a web site for the BEST pastries in the WORLD: Teddy L, a chain of stores (or patisseries, en frances) which manufactures, no - conjurs, the most magical, melt-in-your-mouth flaky croissants and then fill them with Belgian chocolate, or whatever other filling of wonderfulness that you desire. I can seriously eat about 5 of these at one sitting, but only in Belgium, where walking is the only mode of transportation (if you're going to be scarfing magical pastries by the truckload).

And, in honor of this most excellent pastry shop, and the good friends who introduced Jaime and me to this temptation that cannot be fulfilled unless we fly back over the pond, Mimi & Luis, I am placing a tidbit about its magnificence online, and borrowing a picture from a willing web site.

Thank you, Belgium, and Mimi & Luis, for your pastries.